no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
