Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
