Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
