And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize