i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
