Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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