new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
