I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
