i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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