I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
