honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
