No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
