Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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