He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't think brook has ever known best
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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