mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
