dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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