hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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