Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
