So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
