Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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