is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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