please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
