I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
