I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
