It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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