: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
