please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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