pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
