I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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