this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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