I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
