I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
