There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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