Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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