he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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