Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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