she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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