can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she told me i tasted like america
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize