i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
