there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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