I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize