GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I will be naked everywhere
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
