I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we're making bets on your personal life
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
