so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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