Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
