Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
