I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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