Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize