I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize