3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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