Ambien. No doubt about it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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