sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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