Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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