Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
