i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
