I cockslap morals
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
