You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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